Clarity and Newness
Candice on Clarity and Newness
More about You
I want to know more about you
I want to know what brings you joy and what brings you pain.
I want to know why you laugh and why you cry.
I want to know why your eyes gleam with emotion, transparency.
I want to know why you close yourself off, why you guard against others.
Why do you hold the world on your shoulder in isolation?
Why do you struggle to let others help?
Why do you struggle to let others love you?
Why do you struggle to love yourself?
Why does your nose crinkle when you dislike something?
Why does your laughter sound full, genuine and fill a room?
Why have you been so comfortable in your own pain?
Why have you resisted your full potential?
Why have you been withholding from your community?
Now something has shifted.
Why do you choose Integrity?
Why do you choose Forgiveness?
Why do you choose Love?
Why do you choose Compassion?
Why do you choose Vulnerability?
I see a beautiful woman, changing herself and the world for the better.
This is a love letter to me.
I want to know more about you.
Nikyla on Clarity and Newness
There’s a vice grip on my heart, fear courses through its chambers, weakening its beat.
Weakening my strength.
I feel like a butterfly pinned to a board.
Open and bare for all to see my imperfections, and the fear cycles through again.
I’m scared that people will see the handprints that have been left on my body, as if I’m wrong to have experienced the unthinkable.
Society loves to blame the victim and empower the perpetrators.
I feel the shame smeared across my skin and it sinks deeper into me.
Marking me further.
How can I be free and fly away from this feeling that holds my heart captive?
I sit with myself, I sit with the pain and the shame, and I pray.
I pray to Source, God, Creator, and the answer was so clear to me then.
Nothing is wrong with me,
The pain and suffering someone else causes me is never what defines me,
Sometimes terrible things happen when we least expect it and from who we least expect.
My heart was broken from the betrayal and fear.
I held myself and I listened to what my body told me,
I am safe, I don’t have to go back there, I don’t have to live in the past, trapped by trauma that my body still holds like a tight coil in my belly.
So, I release,
I breathe and I cry, and I scream,
I hit my pillow and I let myself feel what I was too scared to feel before.
I am perfect, I am not marked, my experiences don’t define who I am, how I react to them does.
So, I let go, and I shed away the old, in order to make way for the new.
There is nothing I need to hide, I’ve done nothing wrong, and if society chooses to stigmatize my experience, then it’s not a society I choose to let influence me or my thoughts.
I lift the blanket of pain that was draped across my shoulders, I wipe my tears, and I feel the vice grip on my heart loosen until it’s gone completely.
I’m free and I can fly, and I realized I could fly all along, the pins clipping my wings can’t hold me any longer.
And they don’t have to hold you either.