Learn to Communicate Efficiently

Learn to Communicate Efficiently

It’s officially Gemini as of May 22, 2021. It is the season to communicate with and learn from others.

And for many of us communicating can be super difficult especially when there are old resentments, hurt, and pain lingering that hasn’t been resolved.

The Gemini twins let us know that there are always 2 sides to the story.  We can get too focused on our experience and forget that the other has another perspective too.

And not to forget, we can miss the higher perspective of what God/Source/Universe intended for this connection.

Communication helps us see what the other person is going through and help us to clarify ourselves to bring on understanding.

My husband, Isaac, and I have been working on our communication this weekend.  We had a rift that triggered us.

What could have been days of not speaking to one another turned into a healing moment for both of us.

It showed both of us what we are holding onto that justifies why we speak, behave, and act the way we do to one another when we aren’t being loving with each other.

We blamed each other for old hurts and pains and expected the other to understand or change, but our current rift was so much more than what was really going on in the moment.

These hurts and pains stem way way way back into early childhood when we didn’t know the best way to communicate.

We just knew we had a feeling about something that didn’t feel good and didn’t know how to resolve it or talk about it.

These original hurts become the trigger for our reactions.  So without realizing it, these hurts accumulate throughout our life and becomes a huge file in our memory bank justifying why we feel a particular way.

We literally have gather enough data about an offense over time and generate evidence of how it always shows up and someone keeps doing it to us.

It becomes the filter of how we see our world.  It becomes the dominant reaction and it comes out when someone is behaving the same way or communicating the same way from the original conflict.

When a rift happens

–instead of behaving the way we know ourselves to be conscious, wise, adults who have been doing all this healing work, we explode and react from our child selves losing all knowledge and wisdom.

This keeps us chained to the very things we need to let go of that are calling us to heal and communicate.  And to top it off, it keeps us in the identity of one who reacts a particular way and justifies it.

Instead of being the one who is transformed by it.

Now is the time to communicate and mend the rifts so we can create a new relationship with others and ourselves.

Self forgiveness and forgiveness of the other is necessary to move forward.

The energy needs to clear or you’ll repeat these patterns over and over maybe with the same person or a new person but same scenario.

We literally have hard wired ourselves for these reactions so we’ve gotta do something different.  And what’s different is forgiveness.

Here is a forgiveness template you can use to step into forgiveness.  I encourage you do one for yourself and for someone you need to forgive.  Keep in mind, it may not be the person you are having the argument with.

This is a way to get all your feelings out and release the energy.  With this template, you are allowing yourself to communicate it out loud to yourself and let go of old hurts.   Write down everything that comes to mind around each statement.

First Paragraph:

I am angry because…

Second Paragraph:

I am sad because…

Third Paragraph:

I forgive you because…

Fourth Paragraph:

I love you because…

Now tap into your body.  How do you feel?  Is there anything else that needs expressing?  After writing your forgiveness letter, see if you are ready to communicate any of your feelings and findings with the other in a civil, wise, supportive, adult way.  Ask yourself, “What would love do.”

If not, I highly recommend reaching out to Nikyla or myself so we can support you through it by working with us one on one or in one of our programs.  Sometimes there is a lot more that we need to clear before having a conversation with another especially if it’s deeply rooted.

I hope this frees you.

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